This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
