Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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