Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
