I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
