sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
