Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Randomize
