Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
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