All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
