Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
