Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
