I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
