So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
