She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
