so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize
