Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Sext me about skeletons
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
