He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
never play flip cup with pint glasses
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Let's get the cat blown out
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize