mondays should just be called national damage control day
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
