under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
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