marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
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