I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
