wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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