You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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