party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Where is the hickey?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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