so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
handjob tips. give me some.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
