Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
