I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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