I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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