i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
