the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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