you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
it's great music for shaving your balls
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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