The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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