he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize