Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
