Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
