I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It's shark week go big or go home
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
