That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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