Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
