Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
