fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
