I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
