you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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