God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
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