I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
