am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize