last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
