After last night, I could never be a politician.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
