is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
