I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
