TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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