That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
