This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
