great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
