do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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