My hand turned me down
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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