I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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