Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
