oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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