i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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