god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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