ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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