Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
