): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
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