Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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