it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So vagazzling was a success
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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