so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
