This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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