I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
