Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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