yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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